Note (November 16, 2024): At the bottom of this post are some variants of the original poem, as re-interpreted by ChatGPT and Claude.AI).

I was cleaning out my drafts folder and came across this poem. I liked it. A lot. It has my sensibility. My sense of whimsy.

But I DO NOT remember writing it. Nor do I remember finding it somewhere and copying it into an email. There is no author attributed – which makes me think that maybe I did write it. But I really have no memory of doing so. Google searches haven’t helped. So I am posting it here. If you know the source or author please drop me a comment below. I really do want to know. But for now, here it is: Perfect Vacuum.

•••••••

Perfect vacuum

What do we mean
When we say, that
Emptiness has achieved
Perfection?

That it has reached
The pristine peak
Of nothingness?

They say that a perfect vacuum
is impossible to achieve

I disagree
Achieving nothing
Is easy, though I must add

It sucks.
(Literally). 

•••••••

Note: Incidentally Perfect Vacuum: Perfect reviews of non-existent books is the title of one of my favorite books by Stanislaw Lem. More about the book here. The first chapter is a review of the book itself 🙂

---

ChatGPT version

Perfect Vacuum

What do we mean
when we say
emptiness has reached
perfection?

That it has climbed
to the pristine peak
of nothingness?

They say a perfect vacuum
is impossible to achieve.

I disagree.
Achieving nothing
is easy.

Though I must admit—
it really sucks.
(Literally.)

---

Claude Version I (Sonnet)

Perfect Vacuum A Sonnet

Beneath the atoms, in the spaces where
No particle dares dance or drift or fly,
We seek perfection in the empty air—
A void so pure that nothing can comply.

Physicists claim such space cannot exist,
That quantum foam will always interfere,
That perfect nothing can’t be caught or kissed,
No matter how we strain to engineer.

But I have found, through years of careful thought,
That absolute emptiness is near:
Just look at all the things I haven’t bought,
The dreams I dropped, the paths I didn’t steer.

My mastery of nothing is complete—
(Though I admit the job description sucks).

---

Perfect Vacuum A Villanelle

In search of nothing pure and clear,
We chase the perfect vacuum’s grace—
The void that science says can’t appear.

Through quantum fields and atoms’ sphere,
We seek to empty out all space
In search of nothing pure and clear.

The laws of physics interfere;
No perfect void can we embrace—
The void that science says can’t appear.

Yet here’s a truth I hold quite dear:
I’ve mastered absence with such pace,
In search of nothing pure and clear.

My achievements disappear,
Leave not a single scattered trace,
The void that science says can’t appear.

So when they claim perfection’s near
Impossible in time and space—
In search of nothing pure and clear,
The void that science says can’t appear—
(Though I must note, this skill does suck).